MONDAY:

NOT THANKFUL

I find myself always scared at night. Not inside my house, though, but late at night on Fridays and Saturdays. If I'm walking home alone. You always seem to think about rape or something horrible while walking alone.

It can happen to you. And that's terrifying. If I see a person walking alone, I'm automatically scared, but if there is a girl or a girl next to that person, everything will be alright, I guess.

You can even be done stuff to (weird sentence) by guys under or at your own age. Alcohol is blamed. You can't really control what you're doing while being affected by it: Ergo- scary.

My point: As I think of this: What if I was ought to be raped? There are many scary men around.

I would pray to God that I could go back in time and redo it. 

But what if I have already done that? (For the record, I have never been raped, or anything like that). What if I was raped, but God actually turned back time? You will never know. And what if God is always doing that? If something goes wrong, he will turn back time. Maybe the world we're living in is absolutely, horrifyingly bad? But God makes it just bad? 

So, imagine there has been a tragedy. And God does turn back time. You would be thankful to a thousand. 

But you now don't know he has done that, then you're just ungrateful for everything else that is bad.

I'm thanking God for that something like that has never happened to me. Although there have been allot of sorrow in my life as well. You can't go trough life without pain. Or you will not live life. 

I don't know if this made any type of meaningful sense, but I think you get my point, if anybody will ever read this. 

bye to a thousand. 

HIDING FROM THE PAIN. ARGH

I remember one time I thought for sure I was going to be raped. That was awfully scary. 

I decided I wanted to go for a jog one Friday. It was about 11:30 or so. That is kind of late for a jog. Anyways, I was nearby the kindergarden, the red one by SBS (inside joke between me and Morten) (Stenbråten), and a scary man with a long coat reached me. He was at the beginning going left, and I was going right, when he all of a sudden went right as well. I thought was for going to be raped. Well, since I have a temperament and I was all "jazzed" up from jogging, I could easily TRY to run away, or punch him or something.

But then I heard a noise coming from the red kindergarden (I was now by the white one, only a few feet away). There were some people walking and sitting by the table. 

The man heard it too, and turned to the other side again (left). 

My heart raced then. I was so scared. 

I know it could have been nothing, and it probably was, but you know: Friday: 11:30: Man walking towards me: long coat: scary looking- everything leads on to the stereotype, classic rapist. 

NOW BYE TO A THOUSAND.